Adventures of a Wobbly Wife

A personal piece that I wrote for Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month. Click the link below: Embracing My Scars

I laid wake in the middle of the night. It was 3:00 AM. I couldn’t really tell if I was awake because of a stomachache or from the Coke I drank at dinner. (Probably the Coke, though, because it has kept me awake before.) I just remember feeling at my breaking point. Between everything that’s going on in the world and everything that is going on in my life personally, I have felt pretty stressed lately. Stressed and unsure. Unsure about the future, about life, and sometimes feeling distant from God, but unwilling to give up on hope.  In the quiet of the night I pleaded with God.  “Please Lord, calm my stomach. Help me to sleep. I feel so unworthy of you. But I want to know you more.” And in the quiet of the night, the still small voice came. I knew the thought was not my own, not my inner voice. It came so quickly and suddenly and was like a whisper, a gentle nudging.  “Seek and you will find.” I remember listening to one of our Pastors a few weeks ago remind us that somet...

As I was driving home today, I saw cows out to pasture. That is not an unusual thing for me to see on my way home since there are many large, green, and fenced-in fields. What struck me today though, was a cow that was straining against the barbed wire to try to reach the unreachable on the other side of the fence. But he wasn't going for greener grass. No. He was trying to get a taste of a dead tree limb. I realized as I watched this cow that this is how we often behave in life. God has given us boundaries, so to speak, that are clear in His Word, just like the cows' masters give them the boundary of the fence. He is not a power-hungry ruler who gives us boundaries because He wants us to suffer. No, rather, His Word reminds us of His love and shows us how to strive toward being all He has created us to be so that we can be ready for eternity. Just like the cow trying to reach the tree branch, we failable humans so often are reaching for things that we should stay away f...

We made it! This has been a year of learning and I’m looking forward to the next year of our marriage.  Side note: wedding cake left in the freezer for a year does not taste that good. 😜

Here's my secret, although most people have probably been here at one point or another: Sometimes I stink at this whole marriage thing. I'm talking about, sometimes I have NO IDEA what I'm doing and just kinda coasting through. Kind of like adulting. Hehe. But seriously. There are so many things that I never thought about when it comes to marriage. One of those things is, I always thought that I was a pretty good communicator. And maybe I am when it comes to other people. But when it comes to communicating within my marriage, with Edan, boy was I wrong and I stink at it! For the most part, I don't like confrontation. I would rather just be silent then try to work something out by talking. That sounds really bad, I know. And it drives Edan crazy! He is definitely the better communicator in the relationship. Sometimes I hate that feeling of being exposed, too. And by exposed I mean laying all of my deepest thoughts and feelings in front of someone and being vulnerab...

If there's one thing I've learned over the past few months, it's that if you don't take time to slow down sometimes, sooner or later it could catch up to you. I've learned this all too literally this past summer. At the beginning of July I took a bad fall in the bathroom of our home. I fell in such a way that I ended up hitting the left side of my head on the edge of the bathtub. I felt fine at first, but a few days later I started to have really intense headaches. Probably some of the worst I had ever experienced. They lasted for a few weeks and then went away. I decided to see my doctor just in case. Turns out, the fall had caused a concussion and my doctor diagnosed me with post concussive syndrome in early August. She sent me on my way with a list of things to stay away from for a few weeks. I thought I was in the clear. But a few days after that, the vision in my left eye seemed to change for the worst and I started having tension headaches from the ch...

Anyone who knows me well knows that cooking is not really a natural talent of mine. I’m hazardous with a kitchen knife and, in the past, have caused multiple members of my family to make faces in disgust after taking a bite of whatever concoction I thought would be a good idea.  But I’m learning. However, being that I work all day with a two hour commute, the last thing I want to do is spend hours slaving over the stove. And I’m a bit of a foodie, so even though I’m still learning, I’m pretty picky when it comes to food quality.  So when I found this recipe, I was pretty intrigued. It doesn’t take an absurdly long time and it tastes so good! I’ve made it several times already. It’s not the healthiest but it’s a great option to make boring chicken breasts taste great on a weeknight. I found the original recipe as a link on Pinterest from spicysouthernkitchen.com. I’ve made a few tweaks to it but I’m sure the original recipe tastes great too.  Ingredients 4   boneless ...

I’m currently sitting in a tiny, one-gate airport in the mountains of West Virginia, waiting on a plane that is two hours behind. Not the most ideal situation but I’m remaining calm and it gives me time to write. 😉 Edan and I spent the weekend with family observing Memorial Day here. Vacation, for me, often seems to be pretty hectic. I find myself wanting a vacation to recoup from the vacation. But just getting away for a few days from normal life was a much needed break for me.  The last few weeks, and I guess the last month really, have been quite stressful. I’ve even taken up the nasty habit again of biting my nails...  Edan and I recently bought a house. We are so excited to get settled, but only just moved in last week. In the midst of all of this, I went through some health stuff for a few weeks that had me pretty stressed and upset. Thankfully I am fine and, as usual, I stressed out way too much about a minor thing before I even knew all the details. On top of all that...

So I figure before I get too far into this thing, I should explain why I decided to share my life and experiences being married with Cerebral Palsy (CP). Why Wobbly Wife? I have dabbled in blogging sporadically before, but I had come up with the name and idea for this blog even before I got married. Being married with CP, or any other physical disability for that matter, was a mystery to me. Obviously because I have never been married before but also because I have never really seen, or remembered seeing, a "CP marriage" up close and personal. I had so many questions in the months leading up to our wedding, in regards to how it would work with me having this extra set of challenges. I even went so far as to Google certain topics related to marriage and CP, but I found no answers to my questions and there weren't many resources readily available to me. My fiancé had questions too, and I felt bad that I couldn't answer them, even though his questions were about such...

Hello Internet World!! I thought about this idea for a long time and finally decided to give it a try. I've had many new experiences in life, but I knew that my biggest adventure up to this point would be embarking on the adventure of marriage. Especially marriage while living with Cerebral Palsy. This blog will be real; it will be me. I'll post about my adventures with my husband: our travels, faith, new experiences and even just everyday things that I learn along the way. From time to time I'll feature recipes, since I'm still learning my way around the kitchen. And I'll share my journey of being married with Cerebral Palsy and how my husband and I met. This life is an adventure and I look forward to sharing it with you! More to come; thank you for joining me on this journey.